She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not???

Hello dear,


Its been over a week since I last saw you and I must confess that you've honestly popped in and out of my mind.
That said, as the days have gone by, u've indeed spent less and less time in my thoghts. Some say absence makes the heart grow fonder, others say, "out of sight is out of mind." Either way, there's bound to be a feeling whenever we don't see each other that much.


While the aftermath of your first visit left me puzzled and not knowing what to expect from your return into my life, you settled my nerves and helped me set expectations for what I was to expect from you. You made me love you all over again. You reassured me that I could lay my love on you as d Westlife guys would say. And I somewhat did. 


But last week for me, it was more than just being able to see you again, it was all about me being able to hug and hold you tight again. Never mind that we didn't kiss or do anything "romantic" as such, Just being able to hold you when you were stressed out and you sitting on my laps coz you were tired...those were my special moments. Moments you created. 


In the days after, I wanted 2 hear from you...maybe that was my undoing. Maybe I was too expectant. But who can blame me eh? That's how its supposed 2 be when you love someone. 
And so I thought to myself, "just what if she doesn't feel like I do? I'll be goddamed mehn! I've gotta stop"
So, maybe I don't love you anyless...I can't love you less... I just can show you I love you less....

But I rili do love you and think about you and want to kiss you and all that and all that. I just need to be sure we're on the same page and I'm not in a #jonzingworld!

And no, I'm not insecure, I'm rili just curious...#crossroads.

Ms. Official

I had planned to start working on my project today. I mean, its gon be three weeks since I got home on Tuesday and almost all d guys Dr. Olayiwola is supervising are already working on their Chapter two.! But here I am, doing absolutely nothing about my project and trying to earnestly start blogging.

Ok, today's post is gon be quite real, I'm not going to form art or express some intellectual prowess. Nah, nothing of that sort. She has brought me here tonight. We were actually hanging out together yesterday and it rili was bliss. No, it wasn't anything sexual...rili, we didn't even bloody kiss(I was wondering why today though). Besides the fact that I checked out the size of her ass like 3 times and she hugged me at least 5 times, there wasn't really anything sexual about our three and a half hour hook-up.

But its not about the fact that we were seeing each other for the first time in nearly two years..nah, it wasn't that...we'd hooked up again several times after extended periods of absence. In fact, I came here coz I was feeling exactly how I do feel every time we hook up after an extended period of absence.There was this thought, ok, more than just a thought...It was like I said, a feeling. It was continuously defying every practicality, every pragmatism and every form of rationalism. I felt we just were compelled to get back together.
Now now, I think it'd be tad inappropriate if I didn't say one or two things about how her and I started and stopped all over the timelines of our lives.We had a rather short relationship(one of those remotely mature high-school thingies where we do the whole, "I love you alot, I love you even more." thingy.) 
Splitsville time for me came in Dec. I'd seen the signs and I knew I was headed for doom but I really didn't think she could dump me. Yes O! Me! Back then, I had a whole lot of power...thaz the thing about military schools, even your mates respect you when you've got that power. 
So while she continues to claim I ditched her, my darling dumped me!


But with me on top of my game all the power I had, I was out with another babe in a very short time. 
Well, my eyes in the sky would have me believe that Oso(the new madam) was very much like those reptiles who marked their territories and hence, I really wasn't open to conversation with people she wasn't comfortable with.(My dear was number 1 on her list o!)
See bah, me, I didn't even notice O! I was really just having fun( amin this time, there was no claim of undying love- we were rili just 2 pple having fun).


Fast forward to post-high school.


My darling was obviously still chuffed to bits that I'd "ditched" her for the prim and proper Oso who had further rubbed salt into the wound by marking me up like it was a De Jong vs. Alonso match-up and so every time we hooked up like we did yesterday, she always made me feel like we needed to get back together. I once wrote a note on how I thought she must'a watched a Nollywood movie and was just acting out from one of their scripts. She always, always made me want to just get with her. And then, without ever failing, she disappeared from my life just as quickly as she'd reappeared.  


And so after after all the incessant hugs, the several kgs of ass my hands were allowed free access to, the all so good conversation and all the no holds barred fun we had yesterday, I'm skeptical. And rightly so yh? I thought so too. Only that she just always seems to come back. You know how there are these people who just can't seem to stay out of your life and your paths just keep crossing? She's so bloody one of them. My brother even said we'd probably eventually get married!!! lmfao! 


But serzly...ion think I'd have too much qualms living with her for a long time...I'm not rili in2 the whole marriage thingy...Not that ion want to get married, I do. I just don't want to think about it just yet.
So with just a fraction of my ever evolving thoughts about Peju who also has no qualms about being my Ms. 


Official, I sign in for all time and out for tonight, on blogspot!