Its been well over a year since the last time I blogged. In that time a whole lot has changed. I have graduated from college, started my national service, got a job, traveled a bit, perfected my driving, lost a lot of friendships, fallen in love with tumblr and plenty plenty more.

I have sadly forgotten how to read and write though. My first excuse for the reading was that I'd read too much already. And truly I maybe had. I started reading serious novels when I was still in elementary school. All my older siblings were in boarding school and I was usually home alone for about four hours everyday. By the time I was graduating from high school, I was an excellent reader and quite a good writer. For my writing, I started a personal blog where I wrote to my girlfriend ever so often. But its different when you write about emotions. That's always quite easy. Just pour out your heart on paper (if you're being genuine though).

So what prompted me to come back to my blogspot tonight? Its death. Of all the things that I've been dealing with these past months, death is the only one that has pushed my back against the wall this way.

I lost my mum when I was six and because of that, I've been able to build a wall blocking the pain and even mere empathy that should be felt when someone else loses someone close to them. As I grew older, I began to realize that its only natural and humane to feel this sympathy. Tonight though, I feel real pain. Not for the victims of the Dana air crash or their families, but for my dearest friend who has lost her beloved mum.

Since I heard the bad news, I've been bottling up my emotions as she has. That my girlfriend is over-stressed and has been giving me some nasty attitude no longer hurts anymore. I only care for my friend. My same dear friend who lost her dad in 2007 if I'm correct. I cannot ... I cannot deal. And this is for real. I can't begin to think of all the thoughts going through her mind each night as she's about to sleep and then think those thoughts that she's been suppressing all day. Fools die has taught me never to make a joke about death. It is beyond my powers.

In the coming days and weeks and maybe months friends and family would surround and support. I pledge today though, that even beyond that time, I will continue to surround and support.

Rest in peace, Chief and Mrs. Olukanmi.